WEBVTT

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One of the most difficult
situations we can face

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is when someone
we know takes their life.

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Suicide is most often
a desperate act ...

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when things seem too
overwhelming, too intolerable,

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and too hopeless to deal with.

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Suicide is usually the end of a long
term and gradual wearing away process

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in which one feels as though it
is too difficult to continue living.

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This sense of loss of ability to cope is
often seen as a disease of hopelessness;

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this "disease" however,
need not be fatal.

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Nearly everyone at some time in their
life thinks about dying by suicide.

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The vast majority of individuals
decide to live because

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they eventually come to the realization
that the crisis is temporary ...

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while death isn't.

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On the other hand,

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people having a crisis often perceive
their dilemma as inescapable

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and feel an absolute loss of control.

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The best way to understand suicide
is to learn some of the facts.

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Suicide is most often preventable.

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Most victims do not want to die.

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They have run out of options, see no
way out or can see no end to the pain.

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Talking about suicide does not cause
someone to be suicidal.

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There were over 48,000
suicides in the United States -

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equal to about 132 suicides each day.

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More than 80% of people communicate
their intent to kill themselves

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before they attempt to do so.

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They leave clues and/or
indirect messages.

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The effects of suicide of a co-worker
are highly disruptive to individuals

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and to organizations,

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possibly leaving a long term and
complicated impact on fellow workers.

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An incident may disrupt normal
individual and group performance

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for weeks and months.

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Suicide is not hereditary.

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It is not contagious.

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Once it is a choice within a close
group of people it is more likely

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to occur again within
the same group.

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What are some of the factors
that increase the risk for suicide?

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Having a family history of suicide
or previous suicide attempts,

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a history of depression or other
mental illness, hopelessness,

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a history of alcohol or drug abuse
and stressful life events or loss ...

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to name a few.

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Many feel hopeless,
worthless or guilt.

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One can act reckless or engage in risky
activities, seemingly without thinking.

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Others can show rage, uncontrolled
anger, seeking revenge.

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Some feel trapped - see no way out
and may talk about dying by  suicide.

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It is common to see alcohol and drug
use in those that may become suicidal.

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Other warning signs might be
loss of the job, divorce,

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health or death of a close
family member or friend.

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Suicide is an issue among all
people regardless of age, race,

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and socioeconomic status.

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There are no typical suicide victims.

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Trust your suspicions and take
the threat seriously

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and express your concerns.

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Let them know what they mean to you
and that they are not alone.

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Be a listener not a "fixer".

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Don't keep secrets.
You may lose a friendship,

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but you may save a life.

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Gently ask if he or she is
thinking about suicide

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and be direct by talking
openly about suicide.

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Be non-judgmental.

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Don't debate whether
suicide is right or wrong

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and don't lecture
on the value of life.

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Do not add to the person's guilt.

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Offer empathy, not sympathy.

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Let them know you hear and are trying
to understand their pain.

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Take action!

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Get help from persons and agencies
specializing in crisis intervention

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and suicide prevention.

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Do not go to the home of
a person threatening suicide,

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call the police.

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People that are suicidal
often can be homicidal.

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If you are already with
someone that is suicidal,

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do not leave that person alone,

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call for help immediately!

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The act of suicide inflicts extraordinary
pain on the persons left behind.

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There's a stigma attached to suicide,

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partly due to the misunderstanding
surrounding it.

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A suicide survivor is a family member

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or friend of a person
who died by suicide.

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As such, others may not know what
to say or when to provide assistance.

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They may rely on the survivor to initiate
the conversation about the loved one

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or ask for help.

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Shame or embarrassment might prevent
survivors from reaching out for help.

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Stigma, ignorance, and uncertainty
might prevent others

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from giving the necessary
support and understanding.

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Ongoing support remains important
to maintain family relationships

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and friendships during
the grieving process.

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It's extremely difficult to cope

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when a close relative
or friend has died.

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There is the pain and shock
of a sudden death.

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On top of that, one has to deal
with the fact of suicide,

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with its additional pain and regrets.

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The pain will last a long time.

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You cannot escape from
unresolved doubts:

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How did I miss the warning signs?

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What went wrong

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Why?

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Whose fault was it?, and

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What do we do now?

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When suicide has touched your life,
your emotions are intensified.

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A flood of feelings
often engulfs survivors -

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shame, anger, guilt, love,
self-pity, bewilderment, rejection,

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and even self-blame.

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Suicide can temporarily destroy positive
feelings about you, your faith,

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and life in general.

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Suicide is an act typically
completed in solitude

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with one person carrying
the responsibility - the deceased.

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No person can make another
person commit suicide.

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No person can single-handedly
prevent suicide.

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Many survivors find that the best help
comes from attending a support group

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for survivors of suicide -

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where they can openly
share their own story

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and their feelings
with fellow survivors

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without pressure or the fear
of judgment and shame.

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Support groups can be a helpful source
of guidance and understanding

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as well as a support
in the healing process.

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When your life has been
seriously wounded by suicide,

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nothing can change that fact.

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Everyone has their own timetable
for the grieving process.

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As one person I was
counselling told me recently,

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"We didn't have a choice
when our loved one died,

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it was out of our control;

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but we do have a choice
in healing ourselves.

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It's the hardest task we'll
ever have to perform."