WEBVTT 00:01:17.249 --> 00:01:20.018 Some middle-eastern guy is suing the city for racial profiling 00:01:20.019 --> 00:01:24.280 because a couple of cops pulled him over for no reason. Or so he says. 00:01:25.735 --> 00:01:30.800 Lee knows what I talking about. Lee understand secret of sushi. 00:01:30.951 --> 00:01:35.663 Hey... Ah, grasshopper. You like sushi, too? 00:01:37.363 --> 00:01:41.964 Come on. We all know the deal. They're only interested in women and minorities. 00:01:41.989 --> 00:01:44.764 White guys like me need not apply. 00:01:45.857 --> 00:01:49.640 How can I work and travel with someone that's like that? 00:01:49.665 --> 00:01:52.071 And besides, what happens if we had clients with us 00:01:52.096 --> 00:01:56.303 and she comes swaggering in here with that "gay pride" junk on? 00:02:06.345 --> 00:02:10.779 You know, the job of being a supervisor or manager has really changed. 00:02:11.192 --> 00:02:13.588 Especially when it comes to managing people. 00:02:13.715 --> 00:02:16.178 Not only do we have to know what's expected of us; 00:02:16.203 --> 00:02:19.097 which means understanding the laws, policies and values that 00:02:19.122 --> 00:02:20.786 govern behavior at work. 00:02:21.038 --> 00:02:23.982 We've got to make decisions that are consistent with those laws, 00:02:24.007 --> 00:02:25.751 policies, and values. 00:02:25.946 --> 00:02:30.503 And we've got to make sure our own behavior reflects those expectations. 00:02:31.067 --> 00:02:35.770 And when we do encounter a situation, we have to ask ourselves three questions 00:02:35.795 --> 00:02:39.782 to figure out what to do. First question: Is the behavior legal? 00:02:39.937 --> 00:02:43.460 Because if it isn't, then we have to take timely corrective action. 00:02:43.508 --> 00:02:48.524 Second question: Is what's happening consistent with the organization's policies? 00:02:48.714 --> 00:02:52.739 Because if it isn't, we've got to bring it in line with our policies. 00:02:52.985 --> 00:02:57.322 Third question: Is the situation affecting productivity, or teamwork, 00:02:57.347 --> 00:03:01.165 or customer service? Because if it is, we need to let people know 00:03:01.190 --> 00:03:04.906 what we expect and how their behavior needs to change. 00:03:06.106 --> 00:03:09.235 So, how do we do all that and stay productive, too? 00:03:09.512 --> 00:03:12.998 Well, the best way I know of is to use this easy to follow tool. 00:03:13.061 --> 00:03:15.240 It's called M.E.E.T. 00:03:16.140 --> 00:03:21.040 No matter how much I've got going on, I make the time to discuss the situation. 00:03:22.079 --> 00:03:26.961 I explore differences and make sure everyone has an opportunity to be heard. 00:03:27.994 --> 00:03:32.756 I ensure people are communicating in a way that encourages respect. 00:03:33.548 --> 00:03:39.279 And I take personal responsibility for making sure things are handled the right way. 00:03:40.407 --> 00:03:44.221 Bottom line, we need to try to go into every situation 00:03:44.253 --> 00:03:48.361 looking for a way to help people understand each other and work together better. 00:03:48.386 --> 00:03:52.122 Of course, sometimes that's easier said than done. 00:04:05.660 --> 00:04:07.955 Have you seen this? What's that? 00:04:08.217 --> 00:04:11.317 Some middle-eastern guy is suing the city for racial profiling 00:04:11.342 --> 00:04:15.079 because a couple of cops pulled him over for no reason. Or so he says. 00:04:15.104 --> 00:04:16.246 Really? 00:04:16.558 --> 00:04:18.386 You know, I don't know what it is with these people. 00:04:18.411 --> 00:04:20.625 Cops don't pull people over for no reason. 00:04:20.657 --> 00:04:24.326 Are you sure? I mean, don't you think that sometimes maybe they do that? 00:04:24.351 --> 00:04:28.110 Okay, sometimes, maybe. But ninety-nine percent of the time - it's legit. 00:04:28.191 --> 00:04:29.333 You could be right. 00:04:29.474 --> 00:04:32.748 No, that's not right. You don't know what you're talking about. 00:04:32.773 --> 00:04:34.725 You ought to just shut up. 00:04:36.836 --> 00:04:38.795 It was just like it came out of nowhere. 00:04:38.820 --> 00:04:40.522 I mean, I've worked with her for a couple of years and 00:04:40.547 --> 00:04:46.785 she's never done anything like that. She just sort of, I don't know, exploded. 00:04:47.018 --> 00:04:50.474 Where did you get that 99% figure, huh? Because, the fact is 00:04:50.499 --> 00:04:54.230 it's not always legit. And the fact is you don't know what you're talking about. 00:04:54.297 --> 00:04:56.949 Excuse me? It's just common sense. 00:04:57.033 --> 00:04:59.866 Cops have better things to do than to pull people over for no reason. 00:04:59.913 --> 00:05:04.821 No reason...my husband is pulled over driving my daughter home from a soccer game. 00:05:04.846 --> 00:05:09.011 They made him get out of the car, searched him, spent 20 minutes grilling him - 00:05:09.036 --> 00:05:11.637 because they said something was wrong with his tail lights. 00:05:11.662 --> 00:05:14.103 And my 9 year- old is sitting there watching all this. 00:05:14.114 --> 00:05:17.128 Okay. Okay. I'm sure there are exceptions. 00:05:17.372 --> 00:05:19.727 Look, maybe I over reacted. But.. 00:05:19.759 --> 00:05:22.205 I was tired of listening to a bunch of white people spouting off 00:05:22.230 --> 00:05:25.297 about things that don't happen to them like they happen to us. 00:05:25.716 --> 00:05:29.554 Last month, my brother gets stopped driving out of a grocery store parking lot, 00:05:29.579 --> 00:05:31.484 because he looked suspicious. 00:05:31.509 --> 00:05:37.313 Oh come on, that's not a racial thing. My little brother got stopped 3 times 00:05:37.338 --> 00:05:40.235 one night coming home from a party. It happens to everybody. 00:05:40.273 --> 00:05:43.725 Lighten up. We're just talking about stuff in the newspaper. Big deal. 00:05:43.750 --> 00:05:48.761 Hey, when it's your kid watching her father being humiliated, it is a big deal. 00:05:50.407 --> 00:05:51.669 Whatever. 00:05:59.826 --> 00:06:03.190 Off-hand comments about a newspaper article, television show, 00:06:03.223 --> 00:06:07.895 or even current events can disrupt work and impact working relationships. 00:06:08.368 --> 00:06:12.942 But let's face it, there's no way we can keep people from talking about these things. 00:06:13.019 --> 00:06:15.639 As managers, we have to help people understand that 00:06:15.664 --> 00:06:19.492 conversations that may be totally okay outside the workplace 00:06:19.544 --> 00:06:22.982 can have unintended consequences inside the workplace. 00:06:23.053 --> 00:06:26.133 So, telling someone, "Look, just ignore them." or 00:06:26.203 --> 00:06:29.500 "Hey, you're adults, work it out," isn't a good idea. 00:06:29.642 --> 00:06:32.604 It can come across like you're minimizing the problem 00:06:32.629 --> 00:06:34.871 and blaming people for their feelings. 00:06:34.928 --> 00:06:38.492 In other words, the thing to do is to take the time to meet with them 00:06:38.517 --> 00:06:40.356 and get things ironed out. 00:06:40.484 --> 00:06:42.559 Sorry I'm late. No problem. 00:06:42.689 --> 00:06:44.646 Is this going to take long? 00:06:44.993 --> 00:06:46.705 As long as it needs to. 00:06:46.863 --> 00:06:50.015 Like I ah, like I told all of you when I called this meeting, 00:06:50.040 --> 00:06:53.901 I think it's important that we talk about this conversation 00:06:53.926 --> 00:06:57.093 the three of you got into this morning. I still don't understand what happened. 00:06:57.134 --> 00:07:01.939 To begin with, I'm sure no one meant to offend anyone, right? 00:07:02.934 --> 00:07:05.910 But, you know what? There was a lot of tension in the room this morning. 00:07:05.935 --> 00:07:07.581 And I can still feel it. 00:07:08.259 --> 00:07:11.136 Look, none of us knows when we're going to do or say something 00:07:11.161 --> 00:07:15.070 that's going to offend someone. What we do know is it's going to happen, 00:07:15.095 --> 00:07:17.498 sooner or later, like this morning. 00:07:18.106 --> 00:07:22.184 Look, it's important that we have good working relationships. But the truth is 00:07:22.209 --> 00:07:25.955 that tension, anger and frustration get in the way of our productivity 00:07:25.980 --> 00:07:27.725 and serving our customers. 00:07:28.333 --> 00:07:30.300 To be honest, I was thinking this is ridiculous. 00:07:30.347 --> 00:07:33.413 Can we possibly blow this any farther out of proportion? 00:07:33.504 --> 00:07:36.072 Look, I don't know what there is to discuss, here. 00:07:36.097 --> 00:07:39.182 And that's the problem. That's what I'm talking about! 00:07:39.412 --> 00:07:40.769 What's that supposed to mean? 00:07:40.836 --> 00:07:43.274 Look, I don't want us to feel like we can't 00:07:43.299 --> 00:07:45.665 talk about things that happen outside the workplace. 00:07:45.690 --> 00:07:46.762 Well, that's good. 00:07:46.806 --> 00:07:49.229 At the same time, I don't want those discussions to turn into 00:07:49.254 --> 00:07:51.540 the kind of thing that happened this morning. Because... 00:07:51.565 --> 00:07:54.441 not only does that affect our working relationship. 00:07:54.539 --> 00:07:58.101 It could be misunderstood by a customer, or a vendor, or a visitor. 00:07:58.192 --> 00:08:00.290 It doesn't look good. Meaning? 00:08:00.400 --> 00:08:05.168 Meaning...I want us to find ways to talk about things when we need to, but 00:08:05.819 --> 00:08:08.995 do it in a manner that doesn't create problems for ourselves, 00:08:09.020 --> 00:08:10.943 or others, or the organization. 00:08:10.968 --> 00:08:14.579 In others words, if it's controversial, keep your mouth shut? 00:08:14.853 --> 00:08:17.583 That could be one solution. I hope it's not the only answer. 00:08:17.608 --> 00:08:19.856 Well good, because I don't think I could do that around here. 00:08:19.881 --> 00:08:21.487 Yeah, I've noticed. 00:08:22.456 --> 00:08:26.349 I'm confused. We were just talking about something that was in the paper. 00:08:26.442 --> 00:08:27.971 You weren't "just talking." 00:08:27.996 --> 00:08:30.313 Wait a minute... what do you mean not, they "weren't just talking?" 00:08:30.338 --> 00:08:34.741 Well, like when these two said that cops don't pull people over for no reason. 00:08:34.820 --> 00:08:37.393 Well, to me that's not just talking; that's spreading ignorance. 00:08:37.418 --> 00:08:40.604 Excuse me, I was just expressing an opinion and the last time I checked, 00:08:40.629 --> 00:08:42.122 I've still got a right to do that. 00:08:42.147 --> 00:08:43.923 Rich, I don't want you to feel like 00:08:43.948 --> 00:08:47.323 your right to free speech ended when you walked through our door. 00:08:47.481 --> 00:08:49.059 But, seriously, this is a workplace. 00:08:49.084 --> 00:08:52.553 I mean, some restrictions are not only necessary, they're required. 00:08:52.688 --> 00:08:54.837 Sometimes it's best to keep our opinions to ourselves. 00:08:54.862 --> 00:08:58.423 And anyway, the issue here is not your opinion or your right to have it, 00:08:58.448 --> 00:09:01.815 it's that your coworker feels disrespected and disregarded. 00:09:01.840 --> 00:09:07.008 What? This can't be about you thinking I don't respect you? 00:09:07.079 --> 00:09:09.493 Honestly? Yeah, I do. 00:09:10.032 --> 00:09:14.597 Well then, I respect you. I was just talking about something I read in the newspaper. 00:09:14.622 --> 00:09:16.642 This doesn't have anything to do with you. 00:09:16.690 --> 00:09:20.258 That's what I'm trying to tell you. It does. It's personal. 00:09:20.275 --> 00:09:22.652 Well, I'm sorry you chose to take it personally. 00:09:22.677 --> 00:09:27.586 Look.. the last thing I want is for us to feel like we have to walk on eggshells 00:09:27.611 --> 00:09:28.650 around each other. 00:09:28.675 --> 00:09:33.316 But, we've got to be able to cut each other some slack once in awhile. Agreed? 00:09:34.574 --> 00:09:35.581 Yeah. 00:09:35.606 --> 00:09:39.525 And like I said before, we have a responsibility to respect one another. 00:09:40.200 --> 00:09:44.510 So Rich, what would you like to see happen the next time something like this comes up? 00:09:44.535 --> 00:09:50.749 I don't know...um, I mean, if you want me to hear what it is you're trying to say, 00:09:50.774 --> 00:09:54.931 then I guess I need to hear it in a way that doesn't sound like you slamming me. 00:09:55.558 --> 00:09:58.461 There are just these things that push the buttons, you know. 00:09:58.486 --> 00:10:02.232 So maybe I can, I don't know, maybe I can warn you or something. 00:10:02.449 --> 00:10:07.086 You mean sort of um, don't take this the wrong way, but 00:10:07.141 --> 00:10:09.975 I've just got to tell you something that's important to me about this? 00:10:10.000 --> 00:10:13.224 Yeah, something like that. You know, just bear with me, or whatever. 00:10:13.358 --> 00:10:17.995 And I guess, you know, I can ask questions before I, 00:10:18.034 --> 00:10:22.342 you know, jump to conclusions or take what I'm hearing at face value. 00:10:22.770 --> 00:10:24.300 What do you think, Rich? 00:10:25.370 --> 00:10:29.868 Well as long as you understand that I'm going to see things my way and 00:10:29.923 --> 00:10:33.402 you're going to see things your way and that doesn't make me an awful person. 00:10:33.427 --> 00:10:38.429 So, you can agree on how to disagree. Exactly. 00:10:39.661 --> 00:10:41.035 I can live with that. 00:10:42.106 --> 00:10:45.224 You know, it would be great if people just left everything at the door 00:10:45.249 --> 00:10:49.580 when they came to work. But there's stuff in the newspaper, in e-mails, 00:10:49.675 --> 00:10:51.652 on the TV in the break room. 00:10:52.287 --> 00:10:56.362 I guess we just have to be ready to handle that stuff, right? 00:11:13.441 --> 00:11:16.068 Oh, not you too? Excuse me? 00:11:16.093 --> 00:11:17.848 It's sushi, right? Yes? 00:11:17.873 --> 00:11:19.534 I've got to tell you about yesterday. 00:11:19.570 --> 00:11:23.554 A flash point? I'd say more like a hot flash point, huh? 00:11:25.849 --> 00:11:27.364 So, you got any plans for tonight? 00:11:27.389 --> 00:11:33.659 Ahhhh, soooo... big plans. Go to favorite fish place. Eat favorite sushi. 00:11:34.533 --> 00:11:37.267 Oh man, you can eat that stuff? Yaah! 00:11:37.353 --> 00:11:42.578 Ohhh, sushi good for you. It build strong mind, strong heart, 00:11:42.603 --> 00:11:48.549 make strong all over, all day, huh? And maybe even all night, heh? 00:11:48.918 --> 00:11:53.200 Lee know what I talking about, huh? Lee understand secret of sushi. 00:11:53.225 --> 00:11:54.323 Hey 00:11:54.390 --> 00:11:58.382 Ah, grasshopper. You like sushi too? Aaah so... 00:11:59.797 --> 00:12:04.055 Ty was like that. You know, always doing those accents...Mexican, Mafioso, 00:12:04.080 --> 00:12:08.267 Bubba jokes. Oh and his "brothers in the hood" routine was hilarious. 00:12:08.688 --> 00:12:12.054 To tell you the truth, we didn't think much of it. It was just him you know, 00:12:12.086 --> 00:12:15.888 always good for a laugh. But sometimes he went just a little over the top. 00:12:15.913 --> 00:12:18.183 Hey man, you might want to tone it down just a little. 00:12:18.318 --> 00:12:20.850 Ohhh, no problem. 00:12:21.669 --> 00:12:27.241 Lee good guy...I no afraid of Lee. I let him even watch my doggy, huh? 00:12:28.159 --> 00:12:32.128 Lee knows good joke when he hears one. Waah! Oh! Yah! 00:12:34.166 --> 00:12:38.663 I'm telling you... Ty was in rare form. Rare form. 00:12:45.913 --> 00:12:49.909 We all like to have fun at work. But playing off stereotypes - 00:12:49.934 --> 00:12:53.838 even when it's intended as "just a joke" - isn't everybody's idea of fun. 00:12:54.002 --> 00:12:56.807 It could be seen as ridicule, which nobody likes. 00:12:56.832 --> 00:13:01.912 And if it happens a lot, it could create a hostile environment, which nobody wants. 00:13:02.214 --> 00:13:05.206 That's why, as managers, we need to help people understand 00:13:05.231 --> 00:13:09.383 when their behavior is out of line. Even if no one has voiced a complaint, 00:13:09.408 --> 00:13:13.242 we have an obligation to step in before it gets out of hand. 00:13:14.956 --> 00:13:17.555 Hi Ty, come in. Have a seat. 00:13:22.436 --> 00:13:28.312 Okay, boss lady. So how come you called into de big house? 00:13:28.622 --> 00:13:31.342 For exactly what you're doing right now. 00:13:31.867 --> 00:13:36.318 I understand that you were joking around yesterday, making comments about sushi 00:13:36.343 --> 00:13:39.020 and coming up with your own version of a Chinese accent. 00:13:39.045 --> 00:13:43.636 Oh yeah, that. Ah, so...Confucious say, sushi good for you. 00:13:44.455 --> 00:13:48.279 Ty, it's time to draw the line on those comments. 00:13:48.358 --> 00:13:51.303 I'm concerned that they could turn into a problem. 00:13:51.740 --> 00:13:52.887 What do you mean? 00:13:52.917 --> 00:13:57.489 You know that we expect courteous and respectful conduct here. 00:13:57.727 --> 00:14:01.583 Those kinds of comments could be very offensive to a lot of people. 00:14:01.702 --> 00:14:03.779 Did somebody complain or something? 00:14:03.804 --> 00:14:09.794 Fortunately, it wasn't a formal complaint. But let's just say I have a concern. 00:14:10.325 --> 00:14:14.944 Come on. I like to joke around, okay? Anybody who knows me knows that. 00:14:15.069 --> 00:14:18.935 Ty, that's the problem. Everybody doesn't know you. 00:14:19.087 --> 00:14:24.089 I have to be concerned about the workplace for you, for everyone who works here, 00:14:24.138 --> 00:14:27.565 for our customers, our suppliers, our visitors. 00:14:27.687 --> 00:14:34.138 For example, yesterday, Lee was there. Ah Lee, he good guy. He never complain. 00:14:34.275 --> 00:14:38.647 Ty, come on. Lee is a good guy. And he hasn't complained. 00:14:38.743 --> 00:14:43.879 But that's not the point. How do you know that he, or anyone else, wasn't bothered? 00:14:43.904 --> 00:14:45.667 He didn't say anything to me about it. 00:14:45.692 --> 00:14:50.619 Well, not everybody's comfortable with direct confrontation. It's not his job. 00:14:50.682 --> 00:14:52.218 That's why I'm here. 00:14:52.719 --> 00:14:55.399 Well, he's got to tell me if I'm doing something that bothers him. 00:14:55.528 --> 00:14:58.490 And besides, you know what it's like out there on the work floor... 00:14:58.515 --> 00:15:03.234 "acceptance through ridicule." If you're not being mocked, you're not being loved. 00:15:03.794 --> 00:15:07.670 I did know what it was like. When I started fifteen years ago, 00:15:07.695 --> 00:15:10.159 I was one of the first women on the floor. 00:15:10.334 --> 00:15:14.363 And you had to be pretty thick skinned to make it. It wasn't easy. 00:15:14.388 --> 00:15:16.455 I gave as good as I got. 00:15:16.695 --> 00:15:20.101 Ty, you know what? Times have changed. 00:15:20.143 --> 00:15:24.064 And abuse and ridicule can no longer be part of our workplace. 00:15:24.272 --> 00:15:26.025 So, you're saying what? 00:15:26.288 --> 00:15:28.794 There's a lot of people working out there for us that 00:15:28.819 --> 00:15:31.340 don't know when you're just joking around. 00:15:31.469 --> 00:15:35.588 Look, you know, no offense, but I can't control what people think. 00:15:35.613 --> 00:15:36.929 You know what I'm saying? I just can't. 00:15:36.963 --> 00:15:40.739 But you can control what you say and do. But I didn't do anything wrong. 00:15:40.764 --> 00:15:43.589 I know you didn't intend to do anything wrong. 00:15:43.778 --> 00:15:48.307 But your words could harm relationships, could harm the organization 00:15:48.354 --> 00:15:50.857 and could contribute toward a hostile work environment. 00:15:50.882 --> 00:15:55.413 Look...out there you know you're being respected if they're giving you a hard time. 00:15:55.445 --> 00:15:58.612 It's when they stop talking... that's when you've got troubles. 00:15:58.613 --> 00:16:01.603 Well, that's right. That is how it is out there. 00:16:01.729 --> 00:16:05.576 But it's time for all of us to make a change, across the board. 00:16:05.601 --> 00:16:10.154 Across the board... Yeah, it's my responsibility, your responsibility, 00:16:10.179 --> 00:16:13.024 and the responsibility of everyone who works here 00:16:13.049 --> 00:16:16.743 to be sure that is treated with dignity and respect. 00:16:16.813 --> 00:16:19.800 And that might mean having to change some behavior. 00:16:21.030 --> 00:16:22.621 Okay... ? 00:16:22.865 --> 00:16:27.794 We have to be aware of how what we say and do can impact others. 00:16:27.962 --> 00:16:30.446 And how sometimes it can be misunderstood. 00:16:30.788 --> 00:16:33.943 Oh, so now I guess you want me to be a mind reader too, huh? 00:16:33.968 --> 00:16:40.086 No, Ty. But you may have to make a change in behavior. Ty, you're a funny guy, 00:16:40.134 --> 00:16:42.935 but you have to manage your humor here at work. 00:16:42.996 --> 00:16:47.209 If you're in doubt, don't say it, don't do it. Don't do it. 00:16:47.262 --> 00:16:50.255 I already know where this is going. You know, if I had a dollar 00:16:50.280 --> 00:16:55.299 for every time I heard that, my Mom, my grandmother, my Sarge... 00:16:56.702 --> 00:17:01.850 Fine, I know where you're coming from. And look, I'll work on it, okay? 00:17:02.072 --> 00:17:05.494 But, I'm telling you, talk to Lee about it; it's not a problem. 00:17:05.638 --> 00:17:11.143 But even if it isn't, as a manager I'm required to prevent problems 00:17:11.218 --> 00:17:14.857 before they occur. Do I have your cooperation? 00:17:16.120 --> 00:17:18.844 Yeah. Yeah, like I said, I'll work on it. 00:17:19.542 --> 00:17:23.113 I knew that what I was asking him to do wasn't going to be easy. 00:17:23.207 --> 00:17:27.803 It took a lot of support and a lot of encouragement. But you know what? 00:17:27.945 --> 00:17:31.983 It was worth it. Because what we used to tolerate before, 00:17:32.008 --> 00:17:33.975 we just can't tolerate now. 00:17:34.263 --> 00:17:37.024 It used to be that people would complain with their feet. 00:17:37.084 --> 00:17:41.506 They'd just walk they'd quit. But now, when stuff like that happens, 00:17:41.551 --> 00:17:45.018 they don't just quit. They call their lawyer too. 00:18:02.481 --> 00:18:06.435 Ah, one last thing. Ah, we're getting ready to fill that open position, 00:18:06.460 --> 00:18:10.975 so if any of you know anyone who might be interested, just please let me know. 00:18:11.145 --> 00:18:14.219 Hey, what about your friend Kevin? What about him? 00:18:14.244 --> 00:18:16.877 Yeah, didn't you two go to school together or something? 00:18:16.902 --> 00:18:18.923 Wouldn't this job be great for him? 00:18:19.062 --> 00:18:22.538 Was Kevin qualified? Would he be interested? Sure. 00:18:22.563 --> 00:18:26.077 But you know what, because he's my friend, I didn't want him to waste his time. 00:18:26.140 --> 00:18:29.406 Kevin knows about the position. But I told him not to bother applying. 00:18:29.445 --> 00:18:30.265 Why? 00:18:30.326 --> 00:18:32.241 Come on. We all know the deal. 00:18:32.273 --> 00:18:36.664 They're only interested in women and minorities. White guys like me need not apply. 00:18:36.703 --> 00:18:41.177 Oh, come on, John. That's not true. That's right. And what I want to know is... 00:18:41.264 --> 00:18:43.275 what are you really talking about here, John? 00:18:43.322 --> 00:18:46.724 I mean, I haven't seen a shortage of white guys calling the shots around here. 00:18:46.749 --> 00:18:49.251 And by the way, when I was hired for my position, 00:18:49.290 --> 00:18:51.349 they didn't say it was because of my color, or my sex, 00:18:51.374 --> 00:18:54.277 or that I was taking away a job from a white man. 00:18:54.357 --> 00:18:56.446 What they did say was that I was very qualified. 00:18:56.471 --> 00:19:00.583 So, do you know something that I don't? Yeah, I know that you are the best. 00:19:00.656 --> 00:19:05.158 And I also know that you deserved that promotion that you got ahead of this white guy. 00:19:05.226 --> 00:19:08.912 Okay, I'm not talking about you, Kristal. I'm talking about 00:19:09.289 --> 00:19:11.823 just the way things seem to be these days. 00:19:11.958 --> 00:19:16.871 I'm sorry, but I think that reverse discrimination against white men is for real. 00:19:24.187 --> 00:19:28.329 You know, over the last 30 years or so, we've paid a lot of attention 00:19:28.354 --> 00:19:32.342 to overcoming the past exclusion of women and minorities in the workplace. 00:19:32.405 --> 00:19:35.335 In terms of their roles and how they should be treated. 00:19:35.360 --> 00:19:39.864 But we don't give a lot of thought as to how those changes have affected white men. 00:19:40.157 --> 00:19:43.272 It's easy to see how the focus on minorities and women 00:19:43.297 --> 00:19:46.560 has caused many white men to worry about discrimination. 00:19:46.606 --> 00:19:50.232 And sometimes those concerns were justified by inappropriate actions 00:19:50.257 --> 00:19:52.065 taken to meet hiring goals. 00:19:52.316 --> 00:19:57.076 But today, organizations must carry out efforts to increase their race, gender, 00:19:57.101 --> 00:20:02.577 and diversity in ways that don't exclude or unfairly disadvantage any group. 00:20:05.602 --> 00:20:08.490 John, hang on a second. You got just a minute? 00:20:08.515 --> 00:20:09.540 Yeah. 00:20:10.022 --> 00:20:13.985 I'm just a little concerned about what you said...that, um, 00:20:14.335 --> 00:20:15.839 white guys need not apply thing, 00:20:15.864 --> 00:20:18.439 and that you told your friend that we're not interested in him because he's white. 00:20:18.471 --> 00:20:20.450 Well, it's true. What about it? 00:20:20.870 --> 00:20:22.550 Have a seat. 00:20:24.948 --> 00:20:27.378 First of all, it's not true. 00:20:27.512 --> 00:20:30.134 And secondly, if it were, it would be illegal. 00:20:30.159 --> 00:20:34.263 You can't go around telling people that we're violating the law; 00:20:34.288 --> 00:20:36.977 that we're discriminating based on race and sex. You can't do that. 00:20:37.002 --> 00:20:39.168 So, what am I supposed to tell him? 00:20:39.390 --> 00:20:43.353 Because we both know that the deck is stacked against him...against all of us. 00:20:43.378 --> 00:20:44.270 All of us? 00:20:44.295 --> 00:20:48.813 Look, I know what I see, okay? It's everywhere. Equal Opportunity Employer, 00:20:49.308 --> 00:20:53.088 Unity through Diversity. Those are all just code words and slogans 00:20:53.113 --> 00:20:56.498 that mean that white males are out and everyone else is in. 00:20:56.523 --> 00:20:59.175 You really believe that? Look, I was just really tired of it. 00:20:59.200 --> 00:21:02.467 I mean, it's bad enough having to listen to all this talk about 00:21:02.492 --> 00:21:06.173 "white men being responsible for everything that's messed up in this world." 00:21:06.198 --> 00:21:09.599 And, believe me, I have heard it all..."Who owned the slaves?" 00:21:09.654 --> 00:21:14.567 "Who wiped out the Indians?" "Who's the sexist, male chauvinist pig?" 00:21:14.951 --> 00:21:18.626 I suppose maybe my next problem will be being straight, huh? 00:21:19.795 --> 00:21:22.809 Look, I don't know about you, but I'm sick and tired of being the fall guy. 00:21:22.834 --> 00:21:25.528 You think that's what this is about? Well, isn't it? 00:21:25.608 --> 00:21:29.617 I mean come on, Steve. We both know that it's make up for past sins time here. 00:21:29.672 --> 00:21:32.027 You know what? We need to put this in the present. 00:21:32.078 --> 00:21:35.720 Now, it's good to understand the past. But at the same time 00:21:35.745 --> 00:21:40.662 we can't resolve all of our present problems solely from the perspective of the past. 00:21:40.702 --> 00:21:44.507 So, we need to focus on right now. Okay, absolutely. Let's talk about right now. 00:21:44.532 --> 00:21:48.627 Okay, good John. Here and now, what I know is that our policy is to be open 00:21:48.658 --> 00:21:52.064 and to be fair. Okay, we want to get the best people out there. 00:21:52.089 --> 00:21:56.630 We don't want to exclude anyone that's good. So we have to be a place where 00:21:56.655 --> 00:22:00.092 people from all groups can come and work and be treated fairly. 00:22:00.204 --> 00:22:05.027 And in order to do that, we have to be seen as an organization that is open to everyone. 00:22:05.082 --> 00:22:07.159 That's fine. But from where I'm sitting, 00:22:07.214 --> 00:22:09.664 there's a lot of minorities that didn't grow up any poorer 00:22:09.689 --> 00:22:12.246 or any more disadvantaged than I did. 00:22:14.105 --> 00:22:16.585 What is it that you want to make sure I understand about all this? 00:22:16.610 --> 00:22:20.634 That I was never given a free meal ticket to anything...I had to work my tail off. 00:22:20.659 --> 00:22:22.939 And that's okay, I don't have a problem with that. 00:22:22.964 --> 00:22:27.575 What I have a problem with is that I have to play by this different set of rules 00:22:27.638 --> 00:22:29.727 simply because I am a white man. 00:22:30.483 --> 00:22:34.611 Could I see his side? Sure. John was a hard worker 00:22:34.802 --> 00:22:38.433 and I knew some things about his personal life - it hadn't been easy for him. 00:22:38.497 --> 00:22:41.929 And I'd had some of the same feelings in the past myself. 00:22:42.548 --> 00:22:47.603 But I also knew that I had a responsibility to fill in some missing pieces 00:22:47.630 --> 00:22:49.511 and to help him see the bigger picture. 00:22:49.548 --> 00:22:53.033 You know, I can relate to what you're saying. But the fact is, 00:22:53.135 --> 00:22:55.642 it's not a matter of excluding anyone. 00:22:56.091 --> 00:23:00.133 It is a matter of making sure everyone has an opportunity to be included. 00:23:00.170 --> 00:23:01.303 Yeah, how's that? 00:23:01.328 --> 00:23:05.155 Well, you know, everything from our recycling to our smoking policies are 00:23:05.190 --> 00:23:07.573 intended to help overcome the effects of the past. 00:23:07.621 --> 00:23:10.180 Well that's similar to what we're trying to do here. 00:23:10.205 --> 00:23:15.018 We're trying to be inclusive of the diversity that exists in our employees, 00:23:15.561 --> 00:23:19.248 and our customers, and our suppliers. Yeah, at my expense. 00:23:19.385 --> 00:23:22.801 But you've got to remember that the policies and the practices of the organization 00:23:22.826 --> 00:23:24.691 are greater than any one individual. 00:23:24.836 --> 00:23:27.248 Yeah well, that's easy to say as long you're not the individual 00:23:27.273 --> 00:23:28.711 that's taking the hit, isn't it? 00:23:28.824 --> 00:23:32.556 Tell you what, if you personally feel you've been treated unfairly 00:23:32.581 --> 00:23:36.745 or discriminated against as a result of our policies, then I want to know about it; 00:23:36.770 --> 00:23:40.385 because those same policies protect you and your rights as well. 00:23:40.698 --> 00:23:43.264 So, are you saying then that women and minorities aren't 00:23:43.289 --> 00:23:48.056 going to get preferential treatment? That white men won't get the short straw? 00:23:48.204 --> 00:23:51.524 You know, one of the things I've learned as a manager is that when 00:23:51.549 --> 00:23:54.338 you're filling a position, that the short straw goes to 00:23:54.363 --> 00:23:57.295 everyone except the person who got the job. 00:23:58.234 --> 00:24:01.249 We just want to make sure that everyone gets fair consideration. 00:24:01.274 --> 00:24:05.362 Yeah, I hear what you're saying. It's just...is it for real? 00:24:05.406 --> 00:24:09.348 Yeah, it's for real. And you know what? You can help create that reality. 00:24:09.631 --> 00:24:12.441 Tell your friend to apply for the job, okay? 00:24:12.948 --> 00:24:18.663 Is he going to get an equal shot? Absolutely. At both the long and short straws. 00:24:19.513 --> 00:24:22.948 You know, it was important to get some of those things on the table that 00:24:22.973 --> 00:24:26.166 needed to be talked about. And we did it in a way where 00:24:26.191 --> 00:24:28.715 we both walked away with a better understanding. 00:24:28.865 --> 00:24:31.816 We kept our trust and our respect for each other. 00:24:32.070 --> 00:24:36.682 I couldn't deal with all of John's misconceptions. But at the same time, 00:24:36.871 --> 00:24:40.713 I didn't soft sell the organization's efforts to be inclusive. 00:24:41.068 --> 00:24:44.508 It wasn't easy, but I'm glad that I challenged him on that. 00:24:44.562 --> 00:24:46.259 And, I think it made a difference. 00:24:46.278 --> 00:24:51.427 And, you know, it reminded me of how important it is to communicate our policies and practices 00:24:51.452 --> 00:24:56.549 in ways that make it clear that, hey, inclusion is for everybody. 00:24:56.929 --> 00:25:00.133 And that means white males, too. 00:25:16.675 --> 00:25:18.548 This is a great place. Don't you think? 00:25:18.573 --> 00:25:21.048 Uh huh, a great place. Yeah, how'd you find it? 00:25:21.073 --> 00:25:23.434 Tammi brought me here once, calls it her second home. 00:25:23.459 --> 00:25:25.540 Really? Well, I'll have to stop in again. 00:25:25.565 --> 00:25:28.820 I mean, unless you think it would be too crowded. Too crowded? 00:25:28.833 --> 00:25:31.836 Yeah, I mean, if this is where you and Tammi hang out or, you know. 00:25:31.861 --> 00:25:34.654 Hey, look who's here! Well, hey there! 00:25:35.002 --> 00:25:36.361 Hey, Rob. How's it going? 00:25:36.386 --> 00:25:40.268 Oh, good. Hey everybody, this is Kelly. Kelly, this is Rob. 00:25:40.546 --> 00:25:42.724 I've been looking forward to meeting you. Same here. 00:25:42.740 --> 00:25:45.201 And Ben, my boss. Kelly, it's great to meet you. 00:25:45.226 --> 00:25:46.979 And this is Ramona. Hi, Ramona. 00:25:47.004 --> 00:25:47.847 Hi. 00:25:47.872 --> 00:25:51.268 So, would you like to join us? Oh, we can stay for a minute. 00:25:51.296 --> 00:25:53.921 Great! Let's grab some chairs. Okey. 00:25:55.468 --> 00:25:57.484 Is this a joke or something? What? 00:25:57.509 --> 00:26:00.468 You know. What she's wearing. I don't think so. 00:26:01.169 --> 00:26:04.005 You mean, she's a lesbian? 00:26:05.118 --> 00:26:09.611 I had no idea. None. That she was a lesbian. I mean, I'd worked with her for, 00:26:09.636 --> 00:26:14.583 what, six months at least? She seemed like, you know, normal. 00:26:14.583 --> 00:26:16.599 So, am I the last one to get clued in here? 00:26:16.624 --> 00:26:19.587 About what? Tammi and her "friend." 00:26:19.705 --> 00:26:24.391 Well, is there a problem? Yeah, there's a problem. Look, confidentially, 00:26:24.416 --> 00:26:26.725 I've got some serious issues about this. 00:26:26.750 --> 00:26:30.673 I mean, how can I work and travel with someone that's like that? 00:26:30.674 --> 00:26:33.134 And besides, what happens if we had clients with us 00:26:33.159 --> 00:26:37.000 and she comes swaggering in here with that "gay pride" junk on? 00:26:44.454 --> 00:26:47.969 Knowing when and how to deal with issues of sexual orientation, 00:26:47.999 --> 00:26:52.301 or sexuality, or even lifestyle choices can be a challenge. 00:26:52.443 --> 00:26:55.641 They're the kind of things that can give rise to gossip and innuendo, 00:26:55.666 --> 00:26:59.443 at the very least; and outright hostility and harassment 00:26:59.467 --> 00:27:01.980 if you don't deal with them correctly. 00:27:02.187 --> 00:27:05.708 Ideally, your organization's policies will give you some guidance 00:27:05.733 --> 00:27:10.597 on how to address these issues from a compliance standpoint. But beyond that, 00:27:10.614 --> 00:27:14.482 there are team morale and productivity issues that need to be addressed. 00:27:14.529 --> 00:27:18.744 So, use the M.E.E.T. model to enforce your organization's policies 00:27:18.763 --> 00:27:21.744 in a way that maintains mutual respect. 00:27:26.122 --> 00:27:27.594 Hey Ramona? Yeah? 00:27:27.627 --> 00:27:30.895 Can you meet me in my office in say, 15 minutes? 00:27:30.920 --> 00:27:32.114 Sure. What about? 00:27:32.139 --> 00:27:35.669 Well, I'd like to talk more about what you said about Tammi last night. 00:27:35.694 --> 00:27:36.914 Okay. 00:27:38.729 --> 00:27:47.225 No, no, no, you don't understand. It's not a "concern." It's not open to debate. 00:27:47.350 --> 00:27:51.372 Based on my beliefs, I cannot keep working with someone like that. 00:27:51.397 --> 00:27:54.822 But, before yesterday, working with Tammi didn't bother you? 00:27:54.849 --> 00:27:58.861 Before yesterday, I didn't know she was a pervert, a lesbian. 00:27:58.973 --> 00:28:00.460 I mean, she doesn't act like a freak. 00:28:00.485 --> 00:28:05.628 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...let's hang on here. We're talking about a colleague. 00:28:05.653 --> 00:28:11.303 Now first, there's been no problem with her or her behavior up until now, right? 00:28:11.391 --> 00:28:12.481 Right. 00:28:12.527 --> 00:28:17.628 So, the only one who's changed here is you. But what about clients? 00:28:17.708 --> 00:28:20.231 If they knew they'd feel the same way as I do. 00:28:20.805 --> 00:28:23.741 I didn't know how to answer that. For some clients, it could be an issue, 00:28:23.766 --> 00:28:28.303 but, then I thought, I've just got to focus on what I can do something about. 00:28:28.328 --> 00:28:32.544 And the fact is, Tammi's behavior has always been appropriate. 00:28:32.592 --> 00:28:34.014 So, what do we do? 00:28:34.856 --> 00:28:39.279 I'm not sure. But, I do know that it's important we treat each other with respect; 00:28:39.306 --> 00:28:41.239 especially when we're on the job. 00:28:41.266 --> 00:28:45.566 Hey, I'm not saying I don't respect her ability to do her job. 00:28:46.866 --> 00:28:50.965 Look, honestly, I don't know if I can keep working with her. 00:28:52.270 --> 00:28:56.836 So, what I hear you saying is that you may not be able to continue working with Tammi 00:28:56.872 --> 00:29:00.480 because she's a lesbian? Is that right? Sorry, but that's just the way it is. 00:29:00.518 --> 00:29:03.298 Well, I won't ask Tammi to change just because you're uncomfortable. 00:29:03.322 --> 00:29:07.079 What about respect for my beliefs? Don't I have any rights? 00:29:07.090 --> 00:29:10.323 Well Ramona, of course you do. You have the same rights as Tammi 00:29:10.348 --> 00:29:15.213 to be who you are and express that in an acceptable and legitimate manner. 00:29:15.238 --> 00:29:18.087 Okay look, just give me the bottom line, okay? 00:29:18.108 --> 00:29:23.430 Bottom line - Tammi hasn't violated any policies or done anything that's illegal. 00:29:23.658 --> 00:29:27.477 We're talking about Tammi, here at work. She's a good employee. 00:29:27.502 --> 00:29:31.354 So, I'm the problem here? Maybe I should just shut up? 00:29:32.069 --> 00:29:33.694 Let's just say that 00:29:33.871 --> 00:29:38.071 we share the problem of younot being able to work with a team member. 00:29:38.898 --> 00:29:42.951 Listen Ramona, you're a valuable member of this team and I don't want to lose you. 00:29:42.995 --> 00:29:48.141 I'm more than willing to help you work through this, but it's your decision. 00:29:49.409 --> 00:29:54.280 I don't know... I need to think about it. 00:29:55.440 --> 00:29:58.883 Well, what can I say? The bottom line is that Ramona wasn't able to meet 00:29:58.908 --> 00:30:03.617 a critical performance requirement, getting along with others and respecting differences. 00:30:03.833 --> 00:30:06.262 Three days later she turned in her resignation. 00:30:06.287 --> 00:30:10.794 You know, it's not what I wanted, but it's a decision I can live with. 00:30:27.678 --> 00:30:30.634 Hey, we all know being a manager can be tough. 00:30:30.820 --> 00:30:33.811 But one of the ways to make life a little easier.. 00:30:33.895 --> 00:30:37.280 and to make sure we're fulfilling our obligations to the organization, 00:30:37.305 --> 00:30:42.599 is to make sure we're all working toward finding that common ground of respect. 00:30:44.008 --> 00:30:47.436 That means we make time to discuss issues. 00:30:48.506 --> 00:30:53.309 We explore differences so we understand the situation before we act. 00:30:54.888 --> 00:30:57.866 We encourage and maintain respect. 00:30:59.069 --> 00:31:02.185 And we take personal responsibility to see that, 00:31:02.210 --> 00:31:07.273 if behavior needs to change, including our own, it does. 00:31:09.822 --> 00:31:14.099 I guess what I'm saying is - the best way I've found to improve productivity 00:31:14.106 --> 00:31:17.805 and maintain respect in our organizations is by saying, 00:31:17.830 --> 00:31:21.380 You know what, I think we need to M.E.E.T.